An Abnormal McClane Christmas
by Kaitlyn October Snape
Summary: John goes on eBay to get Matt a Christmas present.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own John or Lucy McClane or Matt Farrell, nor am I making any money from playing with them.  
**Notes/Warnings: **There are really no warnings except for an established relationship. Near the end, though, there's a POV change denoted by a ~*~*~*~. Sorry if this bothers anyone! Thanks once more to my brilliant beta lunabee34 for looking this over for me.

* * *

One of the things that Matthew Farrell actually came close to regretting in life was introducing John McClane to eBay. He had mentioned it in passing once, and then showed John when he seemed interested. Now, he regretted that a little bit. Sometimes, though, it was pretty hilarious, especially when John bought something for Matt that he thought Matt either wanted, or might want. Like the time he had gotten that giant cardboard cutout of some random comic book character from the fifties that even _Matt_ hadn't heard of before.

Right now, though, Matt was unsure whether he should be amused or insulted. John had gotten something for Matt on eBay—again—that he thought Matt would enjoy using. Again. This time, it was something vaguely practical: a laptop desk buddy thing. It basically boiled down to a laptop stand, but it had four legs, a tray-thing for the mouse, and an honest-to-God _cup holder_ attached. When he opened the present—that's what it turned out to be, a Christmas present—Matt just looked at John.

In an uncharacteristic display of nervousness, something he no doubt picked up from being around Matt too long, John began to actually _babble_ his reasons for buying it for Matt. "Your last stand broke." John neglected to tell Matt that it was he who had done the breaking when he had tried to clean up the guest-slash-computer-room. "And you can only use the desk in the guest room whenever you're on your damned laptop, which I gotta say you see more than me, so I thought it'd be a good idea to get you a new one. The pictures showed people outside at the park, sitting on the couch, on the bed, and other places where they can use their laptop now that they had this stand. And it even has a cup holder for those Red Cow drinks you always have with you, so you don't get any more rings on the coffee table that Lucy bought, which she always wants to murder over."

At the "Red Cow" comment, Matt bit back an amused snort with difficulty, but when John stated talking about rings on the coffee table, he had to step in and shut John up before he said something really incriminating. The easiest method, as he had recently discovered, was employed: Matt kissed John stupid. Er. Their tongues dueled lazily, sometimes drifting into John's mouth, sometimes into Matt's, so when Matt pulled back, John's lips were satisfyingly swollen and shining. "I love it, John," Matt assured him with a small smile. He leaned in again, pressing another gentle kiss to John's lips, and that was all the encouragement John needed. With a groan, he pulled Matt closer and into his lap where he sat on the couch.

Matt's legs automatically parted to straddle John's lap, and his hips reflexively began to grind steadily into those below his. Matt swallowed John's moan at the contact, steadily increasing the pressure and stealing kisses from John in between whimpering gasps for air. John's hands came up and clenched around Matt's hips, not to push away as Matt used to think, but to pull him closer, grind up harder. Matt released his own groan into John's mouth at the action and reached one of his hands down between them to undo their jeans when...

BZZZZ!

The buzzer sounded in the apartment signaling that they had a visitor wanting to come up. Matt groaned for an entirely different reason this time, his head falling forward to rest on John's shoulder as he silently hoped whoever it was would go away if they refused to answer.

BZZZZ!

They had no such luck, apparently. Matt raised his head, reluctantly got off of John's lap with a last lingering kiss, and peered at the clock on his way to the door. When he saw the time he nearly facepalmed. Answering the buzzer he said sullenly, "Come on up, Lucy..." then buzzed her in. Matt looked over at John to see his dawning comprehension fade to annoyance. Both of them had apparently forgotten that Lucy was coming over at 1:30 to open presents with them before they went to the Christmas party at the station. They tried to get themselves into some semblance of presentable, but their respective lips were swollen slightly and Matt's hair was hopelessly mussed.

Matt gave a mental shrug. _It's not like she doesn't know we're together..._ he thought practically. He smiled a little at the thought of Lucy's face when he opened the door looking disheveled and well stroked, as it were. Just as the thought was finished, Lucy was at the door, and Matt let her in, getting the expected eye roll and shaken head for his trouble. He took the presents in her arms from her and gave her a kiss on the cheek, which she readily returned.

"Where's Dad? Still getting dressed?" she joked as she followed him into the living room. She must have seen John then, sprawled on the couch as he was, because she fairly bounded over to give him a hug and kiss. It was Matt's turn to roll his eyes at Lucy, but she, thankfully, never saw him as she looked at John. "How you doing, Dad? Should I have come a little later after you did?"

Matt turned an incredulous stare on her, and she laughed at him while John just shook his head with a muttered, "Jesus, Luce..." With the requisite teasing out of the way, they quickly got to the important part of the visit: opening the Christmas presents. Lucy gave Matt a new sound card and a portable hard drive, which he nearly went into babble-mode over. Matt, in return, had given her a few free rounds at the local shooting range "to work on your aim" he joked. She smirked in reply, a look that promised later retribution. Matt tried to remind himself that, just because Lucy was McClane's daughter that did _not_ mean she would shoot at him. It sort of worked.

John, himself, got a set of handcuffs from Lucy. He quirked an eyebrow at them, turning them over in his hands and noticing how flimsy they were. "Luce, what am I supposed to do with these? They'll break faster than 'Yipee-kai-yay' if I arrest someone," he said, confused.

Matt took one look at Lucy's mischievous eyes that were so like her father's, looked at her looking at the handcuffs, and clapped a hand over her mouth as she opened it to reply. He nearly quailed under her amused glare, but he returned it with an irritated one of his own before answering John himself, "I'll explain after the party."

John shot him a look, looked at Lucy, and rolled his eyes as it clicked. "Very funny, Luce," he groused, but the other two noticed how he putt he 'cuffs in his pocket anyway. Matt refused to acknowledge the fact that his face was flushing.

~*~*~*~

Sooner than anticipated, the time for the party had rolled around, and the trio got ready to leave. Amidst shoving and good-natured grousing Lucy, John, and Matt made their way to the station in one piece. Lucy was immediately swept away into the crowd, meeting up with familiar faces and laughing at loud and, slightly slurred jokes. _Someone spiked the eggnog again_, John thought with a slight smirk. He leaned against the doorway, Matt at his side as they both watched the room fill and swell with the mass of people within.

Someone bumped into John's side, and he turned to see the Captain standing in front and slightly to the side of him, a glass of eggnog in his hand and a slightly crooked grin on his face. "Glad zhoo could make it, McClane," he slurred, and John fought not to laugh at the normally reserved man getting drunk. _Someone must've slipped him something_. He shook his head as he realized the Captain was gesturing and talking. He tuned back in at the words, "—tradition, McClane!" He looked where the man was gesturing and felt vaguely horrified that the other man was pointing to the mistletoe. For a few horrifying seconds, he thought the Captain was hitting on him.

Matt smoothly stepped in and saved him, though, insisting to the officer that he would take care of the tradition. He turned to John and pinned him with a stare, moving swiftly after to pin him to the door and capturing his mouth in a kiss. It was just supposed to be a quick peck, but John's hands automatically came up to twine in Matt's hair, holding him in place as he took over, stabbing his tongue in and out of Matt's mouth as a promise of more to come. Matt melted into his arms easily, giving control over to John in a way that made a sort of smug satisfaction curl warmly in his belly.

When he broke the kiss, John looked down into Matt's dilated eyes with a smug smirk. The kid sent a weak glare at him, and John pressed their lips softly together amidst the catcalls and whistles running through the room. John ignored them even as he saw Matt's cheeks color at the attention. He smiled slightly then, ignoring the few female officers who dared coo at them, and kissed Matt gently, whispering against his kiss-swollen lips, "Merry Christmas, Matty."

_**Fin**_

_Merry Christmas!_


End file.
